Some advice for my friend …

She walked into the classroom while the teacher was in the middle of lecturing. She was the new girl. You had never seen her before. Her hair was long and beautiful. Her smile was different than the others. She made you feel different. She make you feel high and weightless. She was the one. She was the one. There would be no other. And when you had the courage to finally talk to her, she would say yes and then you would both fall in love and live happily ever after like in the fairy tales.

But what if she is not the one? What if she doesn’t say yes after you’ve finally gained enough courage to talk to her? Or what if she laughs in your face? Or what if she doesn’t live to the expectations you’ve built of her in your mind? What if the fantasy is just that: nothing more than a fantasy? Big deal. Who cares?

Honestly, this isn’t a big deal. There are more fishes in the sea, my friend. Too many in fact. If you waist your time on the one who ignores you and who can’t see how awesome you are then you are missing an opportunity to meet the right one.

There is no perfect lady as there is no perfect man. We all have flaws and we all have things about ourselves of which we are not proud. We are all imperfect humans. We sometimes find someone who we like. But it’s never a thing which happens smoothly. Rather we awkwardly crash into each other like a baby trying to walk its first steps who stumbles and falls.

This goes back to my last post about expectations. The more you build an expectation the more you set yourself up for failure. It’s okay to like someone more than you would someone else. But don’t make it to be the end or beginning of all things. In other words, there is no perfect match.

Originally published at on March 3, 2014.

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